Tag: self-love

But, I like beer in a pint glass, shared with friends I have made

since my divorce, that wedding in my twenties, lasted a dozen years

then dissolved like so many unburdened thoughts. 

This life, now, is more full, more rewarding and more interesting and so am I

living for the days my dad reaches out asking me if he can help me with a project, it is his love language

my friends still popping by, though rarely at 2am and usually at a more reasonable early evening,

and over unspilled beers we still talk about the good years ahead of us – 

more work-life balance, more time with friends, more explorations outside our comfort zones

more yelling I love you loudly across a space just because you’re my friend

and after talking with those people, those loves of my life,

it is clear some people will understand taxes at 25

and some will live to be 100 and never understand them and that’s what good friends,

or a good accountant are there for

and that self-hatred and certainty of uselessness is something we all feel 

sometimes, it goes away, mostly, but through a process that comes from within not from exchanging vows, 

and at 48 I can tell you 

You matter

and I can finally tell myself that too

When I am alone

My beautiful face 

toward the sun.